Polygyny and Me

Polygyny and me

Posted on: August 22, 2008

July 29, 2008

Men in Islam are allowed to have more than one wife. This is called Polygyny.

Years ago when I first entered into islam i was against polygyny… because i did not understand the blessing in it. I now think as polygyny as a gift and a blessing from Allah.

Why? Well think of it this way. I am divorced from my children’s father…. I have four kids… and really dont want anymore except maybe one…. What single guy wants a woman that has four kids and isn’t willing to have any more than one child?? NOT MANY

I felt polygyny was the perfect situation for me. Maybe my husband and I face some problems with fairness but i can say he is a good husband and I can also say he loves me very much.

I find being married to my husband that I have days that I can go out with my friends and enjoy myself and then there is another time that is just for my husband. It gives me the freedom I need to do the things i need to do.

My husband does check up on me though out the day…. but I do have the freedom of movement… something that was IMPOSSIBLE with my first husband…. I felt as i was trapped in a bottle trying to get out.

Al-Humduliah my current husband is not like this… I have days with him and days where i can do my stuff….

I do not think I  could ever go back to being the one and only wife, it would be very difficult for me…I love and adore my husband, but i am happy to have my personal time.

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4 Responses to "Polygyny and me"

As salamu alaikum Sister,

I hope this finds you in a state of good health and spirits. Jazakillahu khairan for sharing with us your views on polygyny in Islam. InshaAllah, I look forward to reading more posts from you.

Ma salama.

As Salaamu Alaykum Sister Kawthar.

Know that I am not trying to offend you when I say this and do not take it personal. I have read similar comments like yours and I always think to myself that it is amazing how previous first wives are intolerate of polygyny…contractual clausesand all but as soon as they are divourced with children they see the merits and blessings as a second wife. I’m asking you and honestly I’m not picking on you…it’s just that you put it out there so I feel free to ask you…do you think you would have come to this same understanding of polygyny had your circumstances not warranted it? In other words, if you were a happily married first wife would you still see it as you growing in your deen and accepting polygyny? I personally feel that the real test is from the woman who is already married to sing the praises of polygyny. those are the stories I would love to hear. I already know of the benefits for women divorced with children.

I’m sorryif this may have come off wrong. I’m really in a hurry typing this with my kids calling me and can’t get it to come off non offensive…just know that my tone is not offensive…more like I just want to be honest about what i thought when I read this.

i’m glad you are on wordpress 🙂

Asalamu alaykum Sister,

I’m currently doing an article on Polygyny and would love to use a quote from you insha’allah if that is ok? If you could drop me an email insha’allah if possible. Jazakum Allah Khyrn.

Jannah

yes you can use what u need. I havent been on much

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