Polygyny and Me

It is Saturday Morning

Posted on: April 17, 2009

Its Saturday Morning and I woke up with the cats sprawled across my bed… I realized then that my husband was not here… He was with the other wife. I woke up with feelings of loneliness within my heart.  I got up and prayed Fajr and started to wake up my children.

I went and woke up the girls to pray and then to the boys. The boys I have to practically pull  out of bed by their toes… but eventually they did wake up…. “Get up, and go to wudu” I shouted at my 16 year old… “Aww mom, can’t I pray later?” was his response. He knows the answer to that before he even asks.

I went down stairs to fix myself some coffee and sat reading the Hadiths for the  next forty-five minutes. After which I went to my daughters room to retrieve my Quran that she had been reading the night before, and sat for another hour reading the Quran(in English) then another 30 minutes listening to the tape I have of Sheik Abdul Basit.

Then it hit me, the nights that my husband Nabil is with me, I can not have these moments to myself… to mediate and to read. I do this on the days he is not here. As soon as he is up…. its honey i want my tea, Where is this… where is that??

Al-Humdilah for that first wife, because I have my time alone where i can pray as much as i feel i need to… where i can meditate as much as I need to. And I don’t need to do anything for him on those days. I am FREE!  I can go out with my friends to a movie or I can go to a halaqa if i wish… its my reflection time.

I don’t doubt for even one second that he loves me- Because he does and he calles me 20 times a day when he is not with me and the text messages are massive. So much so that sometime they drive me batty. He is a wonderful man.

Sometimes, when people find out that my husband has two wives… they ask me how could I get myself into that situation….. and I am thinking “what situation are they talking about?” I am happy with my husband- He does everything for me.  I love and adore my husband and he loves and adores me as well…. and alhumdulilah I have a husband. Many women do not.

I have friends that only wish to have a husband. As one of them told me that all the good ones are taken… that may be true. However, if they are Muslims they are still available for marriage if they want that situation. I see many single women roaming around looking for men and looking for the Haraam… so what is better? To go for the Haraam or for a man that has a wife to marry you?  I would say the latter. Its a sad situation of the immoral era we are in today, as predicted in the Quran. Polygyny is a way to ease the immorality of today.

I do indeed miss him when i wake up in the morning… However, I also realize it is that which keeps our marriage strong. I do not think i could deal with Nabil as an only wife. He is very picky and very needy. I would never have the time i need to myself  if that was the case.  All I can say is Al-Humdulilah for the other wife!

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4 Responses to "It is Saturday Morning"

Salam Alaykum Sister.. Masha’Allah its wonderful to see another positive poly blog. SubhanAllah i see so many that are very hard to read, and tear me up just to think of they live.

I am also in a poly situation, and i too have a blog talking poly. To me my marriage is wonderful, and i hope the co-wives feel the same. Poly is not for everyone, but some its great.. so its nice to read what you say…

I also added you to my blog role hope you dont mind.

regards
minty

assalamu alaykum

mash’Allah it’s lovely to read your blog! Please keep it updated if you can insh’Allah!! Take Care!!! hugs!

Wonderful post! Masha Allah. I cant wait to read the rest of your blog!

Salam Sis, looking forward to reading your next post insha’Allah… is it coming anytime soon?

minty

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