Polygyny and Me

Happiness in Polygyny

Posted on: May 25, 2014

When we look at our lives and our husband one thing that most wives do, is expect the husband to make her happy… WRONG WRONG WRONG…. doesn’t work that way.

Only YOU have the power to make yourself happy. If you relay on another person to give you happiness then you will never be happy. You will be playing the blame game for most of your life.

When you unlock the power within yourself to make yourself happy, you will find you will have a better relationship with your husband, and maybe if you are lucky, your co-wife.

DO NOT blame your husband or co-wife for your unhappiness. YOU are the one making yourself unhappy. We all have the power within ourselves to make ourself happy even if we are in a bad marriage, have a bad relationship with our co-wife. Why are we letting them have the power over us and making ourself miserable?

Something to think about.

When I look around at my almost 9 year marriage… it is not perfect. But I am happy with what Allah has given me… there are negatives… but I chose not to focus on that… what do I have?

  • I have a wonderful supported husband, that has supported me in every way possible when I wanted to finish my doctorate degree and open a disabled school here in Oman.
  • I have 9 wonderful step-kids that love me, and are there for me when I need them to help out
  • I have a wonderful co-wife that always steps in when I need her
  • I have wonderful in-laws that support me and my marriage.
  • I have my wonderful kids that now have other brother and sisters to bond with.
  • I have a network of support for whenever I may need it.

The problem I see is that too many women dwell on the negative. They want their husband with them 24/7. Sorry ladies that is just not possible. My co-wife told me she sees him more now than when she was a single wife… Why is that? Because I explained to him that his family is more important than his friends that he used to hang out with 7 days a week.  NOW he goes to hang out with his friends only once or twice a week. Once it was explained to him, he understood and embraced it. I did not have to yell or shout. I just had to explain.

However, no matter how you slice it, you will never have your husband with you all the time. They have responsibilities. Here in the Middle East they also have responsibilities to their mother and younger sisters. My husband is the oldest, and he does have all these responsibilities. Even to his married sisters.

The best thing is to remember the positive and not dwell on the negative. IF you do dwell on the negative you will find yourself miserable.  Think of the positive and the things you are grateful for in your life. Find the power within yourself, to make yourself happy and content.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: