Polygyny and Me

Marriage and Polygyny

How can marriage with polygyny work?

It can work… some people say IMPOSSIBLE!! There is no word called impossible in my vocabulary. I know that all things are possible with  the help of Allah.

With polygyny maybe there are alot of ups and downs… especially with jealousy…

But I think where there is complete communication there is a way…. a husband and wife have to be able to communicate with each other. If a wife is having issues with her husband and she doesn’t communicate these thoughts, then how will he know what is bothering her… how will he know what her issues may be??

I think with any relationship communication is important… but when you are in a polygynist marriage it is double important.. The lines of communication should always be open. If something is bothering me and i dont tell my husband, then maybe we will start fighting about something silly and not talk to each other for days. That is not a healthy relationship. I think everything needs to be put on the table in this kind of relationship… honesty is a must…
If you think your husband isn’t being fair… then tell him!! How can he know your inner thoughts if you do not put it out to him…

Some of us second wives just go on and on and on complaining about all the things our husbands are not doing for us….

How about the things he IS doing for us…..

  • Is he there when we are sick or one of our kids are sick…?
  • Is he there in an emergency?
  • does he treat u like a wife?
  • is he jealous?
  • is he there when u need a shoulder to cry on?
  • Does he cuddle?
  • is he there when u need advice?
  • is he there when ur kids need a good talking to ?
  • does he fulfill your phyical needs?
  • is he there when one of the kids are in trouble?
  • is he there when things need to be repaired?
  • Is he there for some meals?
  • Does he show up unannouced just to check on things?

All of these things are characteristics of a good husband… we should say Al-humdulilah for what our husbands DO for us, instead of focusing and complaining about all the things they do not do for us….

When i look at my husband…. I see the best man in the world… he is good to me… maybe he can not meet all my needs.. but i know he tries to make me happy. The thing i know for sure is that he loves me and when i approach him and a nice way without criticizing him, then he will honor my request. However, if i approach him in the opposite way… then more than likely he will not honor my request and will be angry with.

Its all about respect ladies and how you approach your husband. When we appreciate our husbands… then they will appreciate us and want to do more for us.

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4 Responses to "Marriage and Polygyny"

Asalamu alaykum,

I am writing an article about Polygyny, am I able to take quotes from your site? Jazakum Allah Khyrn.

Wasalam

Sorry i havent been on line much but u may use what u need. I have added a new one as well

Salaams
Kawthar Balushi

Salam Hoffie1, love this post.. like i have commented on your other posts….

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